~Welcome to my personal story as a first time wife and stepmom. I use this space to share real life happenings in a blended family, funny stories, my personal frustrations, failures, and occasional victories as I journey through this life with two beautiful and challenging stepdaughters. Thanks for reading, and I hope you find something to help you have a better day!~
Friday, July 29, 2016
As far as the kids were concerned, I felt like I may as well not even be there. Family vacations--not quite so glamorous as a stepparent. At times I felt like a tag-along fourth wheel this year. The girls were just constantly trying to one-up each other to get "daddy's" attention or to impress him with what they were doing. They constantly fought over who got to walk beside him or hold his hand or sit by him at dinner. Meanwhile, I'm like, "Hi. Nevermind. I'll just be over here." Then Jane was giving me major attitude any time I asked her to do anything. I couldn't say anything to her all week without her either correcting me, arguing, or being sarcastic. She was on a 3-hour daily phone limit all week, which may have contributed to her grumpiness. If her dad mentioned her time limit or checked up on her, she was all sweet and said "Okay, daddy." If heaven forbid I said something though, she exploded "Oh my gosh, I wasn't even on my phone. I was just checking the time. I'm just going to sit here and be on it for 3 hours right now then and not get ready to go." Maybe it's normal for a teenage girl and has nothing at all to do with ME. Maybe our hormones were just at odds all week. (Ughh--just wait until it's all three of us girls being hormonal!) But it really started wearing on me by the last 2 days. I told J I would rather not talk to her at all then to endure her responses. In my heart, I know she doesn't hate me, or even resent me. But when she's been snarling at me all evening, then goes and texts her mom all night--it hurts. I'm sure J enjoyed himself pretty well with all three of us girls just clamoring after him all week. We got to see and do some really cool things, and I'm sure when we look back on the pictures later, we'll all remember a good time, and none of this nonsense. Truth be told, I'm really glad they love their dad so much and try so hard to please him. We both realize they receive minimal attention at their mother's. They're largely just left on their own. (Jane gets a bit more time than Kate lately because she goes shopping with her mom ALL THE TIME and can call or text whenever. Kate hates shopping and therefore concludes her mother doesn't like spending time with her.) So I'm really thankful they got a full week of their dad's undivided attention, even if I had to be ignored for a while.