~Welcome to my personal story as a first time wife and stepmom. I use this space to share real life happenings in a blended family, funny stories, my personal frustrations, failures, and occasional victories as I journey through this life with two beautiful and challenging stepdaughters. Thanks for reading, and I hope you find something to help you have a better day!~
Friday, September 20, 2013
So why should kids have internet access, again?
So this is when it all starts--the confrontations as your child gets older and the line between what is appropriate for their age and inappropriate is constantly being moved around. The "battle round" has begun already? We're going to be doing this for the next seven to ten years with Jane? UUggghhh! Here we go. So we're having a good ol' time in Galveston with some friends for the weekend. Jane had just had a pretty bad week with grumpiness, bad grades, and snapping at adults, myself included. Now, I mentioned previously her mother had gotten her an iPhone for Christmas. (I still don't know why an iPhone, equipped with internet access was necessary! If she just wanted to be able to call and text her child, a regular non-smart phone would have served all the purposes of a 10 year old!) Okay, back to the point. So, yes, I will say it--I don't trust her with the internet! She is 11 now. She is a very curious child. She has been caught not once, or twice, but already three times since the age of 7 googling questions about sex. So, No, I don't trust her, and with good reason. I check her history from time to time to see what she's been up to. Well, I opened her history, and BOOM--like a ton of bricks, I knew right then my day was ruined. I became short of breath and started shaking uncontrollably, scrolling through pages and pages of you tube videos she had watched all night Tuesday night into Wednesday morning.... Well, no wonder she was so grumpy and getting bad grades! She hadn't slept. She took her phone with her to bed at her mother's (never would have been allowed at our house, by the way) and just went you tube crazy apparently. I guess the restriction settings are not strict enough on her phone, because she watched all sorts of "Nude scenes", "strippers" "hot girls private show", etc, etc... You get the point. I can't even type them all out, because it gets my blood boiling all over again. Anyways, I called J in to see it, and Jane got into so much trouble. She has completely lost all electronics and privileges. She can only read and do schoolwork basically all day until she can gain our trust back. What makes me the saddest though, is that she can't "unsee" it. Her little immature 11-year-old mind is now forever filled with this garbage. When we talked about it after we both calmed down, and I was trying to get her to explain to me why she did it, I asked if she enjoyed what she saw. She said "NO." So I responded, "Well, then guess what? You should have hit the "Stop" button, or "Off" button, or anything except to KEEP watching these filthy things." While she was back at school the next day, I sat down and wrote her a long "Lecture letter" like I used to get from my mom, and she got from her mom.... But I had Jane read it when she got home, and we were able to discuss a lot of things and talk calmly, knowing there would always be love between us, and that I'm not perfect and have made plenty of mistakes too, and that's why I'm here--is to help her through her mistakes. I had already had the sex talk with her about 6 months before, and we have discussed periods, and all that. So I reminded her again, if she's curious about something or has a question, come ask me. I've been very open with her. So, we're getting over that big event and she seems to be doing well with all the punishments. Okay. Now for my BIGGEST frustration over the whole thing? GET THIS! You will not believe what you are about to read! Jane's mother, her own MOTHER says, "Oh, I can't take her phone away from her--she'll get mad at me." EXACT QUOTE!! Can you believe that? "Oh sure, I'd rather have my 11 year old girl watch porn on her phone, than to have her get upset with me." And you call yourself a mom? Get real. YOU ARE A JOKE! You are doing your daughter absolutely ZERO favors by being scared of her! You will have ZERO respect from her when she is older. Seriously??!! I have to stop. I'll go on and on. But I'm not out of line for that to bother me, am I?