Introduction

Stepmom. Me? I never would have dreamed it. But here I am, 75 days away from marrying the love of my life, and officially becoming a stepmom. The word itself carries such negative connotations in today's society, thanks mainly to Hollywood and reality TV, but also the ugly human nature of so many failing stepmoms in real life. So how do I possibly step into this role with a positive outlook, and have any ambition at all to turn this word stepmom around in at least one household of America? Wouldn't it be easier to just be selfish, focus only on myself and my husband, and let the kids just tolerate me or hate me or act like I don't exist? Yes. That would be much easier. But that's not me. I love my fiance too much to act like that. I love these girls too much already. My heart is too full of things I yearn to teach them, things I need to show them, things they aren't getting from anyone else, to just stand by and not care. As much as I have already and will continue to get hurt along the way by getting so emotionally involved, if I can influence them to be better people and make their lives better in any small way, it will be worth it.

So here is my story from the beginning and leading up to the present. It won't be easy to write, or to read. I will have to admit so many mistakes and failures. I will have to relive intense pain. But I'm hoping it will be therapeutic in a way to get all these thoughts and feelings down on paper, and maybe someone else will benefit. Who knows? So let's go back to when it all started.