~Welcome to my personal story as a first time wife and stepmom. I use this space to share real life happenings in a blended family, funny stories, my personal frustrations, failures, and occasional victories as I journey through this life with two beautiful and challenging stepdaughters. Thanks for reading, and I hope you find something to help you have a better day!~

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Humiliating Stepmom Moments

So, as all stepparents know, there are moments with stepchildren or ex's that aren't so smooth, especially in the beginning. I've had a few myself, and maybe you can relate, or it will make you feel better about yours. (Pretty much all the examples involve Kate, the younger daughter, because Jane is old enough to have a realization about the situation and actually tries very hard not to make anyone uncomfortable.)

1. Out at restaurant with the girls back as "just dad's girlfriend":

Waitress: "Mom, we'll sit you here by your girls."

Both girls together: "That's not our mom!"

Me: *Embarrassed. Don't have a reply.*

2. First time meeting J's parents--they are at our house for Christmas. Kate is sitting on my lap while everyone is around the table playing a game.

Kate: "Do you like my Mom?"

Me: (Secretly embarrassed she brought this up in front of J's parents, but trying to act cool) "Yes, of course I do. She's your mom, and I like anyone who loves you so much."

Kate: "Well, she doesn't like you. She told me so."

Everyone: Awkward, uncomfortable silence while J sends an angry text to the mother that no matter what her personal feelings are to never, ever talk negatively about me to his kids!

3. Another one involving the in-laws: J's mother called me the ex-wife's name in front of the kids three times! Awkward.

4. Picking up Kate from dance and she throws the "baby card" and curls up in her mom's car acting like she doesn't want to come with me. The Mom looking at me smugly like "Ha ha ha."

5. Daisy is the name of a dog that J and his ex-wife had, and the dog stayed with the ex-wife after the divorce. I was picking up Kate from dance once again, in front of her Mom.

Kate to me: "Do you miss Daisy?"

Me: "Well, I never lived with Daisy, so no, not really." Her mom and I actually shared confused glances on that one, not really sure what was going through her head. But I wasn't comfortable bringing up the fact that her dad and mom lived together with Daisy, with her mom standing right there either!

6. Both the Mom and I were standing in the area after a recital.

Kate: "Momma, look what I made."

The Mom: Turns to look, just to be horrified that Kate is speaking to Me!

Me: "Very nice, Kate!" (pretending I didn't notice what just happened)

7. At a wedding rehearsal, one of the relatives of the bride comes over to chit-chat.

Kate: "Guess what, I'm having a baby brother!"

Lady turning to me: "Oh, congratulations! When are you due?"

Me: (Probably thoroughly red in the face and wanting to crawl in a hole somewhere) "Oh no, it's not me. I'm her stepmom. Her mother is actually the one who is pregnant. No, no, really. Don't apologize. It's okay. This happens a lot." Blah, blah, blah...

8. At a birthday party of a classmate of Kate's:

Another mom: "Are you with...? Wait... I thought I already met Kate's mom? I'm sorry... I think I'm confused..."

Me: "No, no, it's okay. You probably did. I'm her Stepmom."

Lady: "Oh, Stepmom. Yeah."(Turns and walks away because who would want to socialize and gossip with a stepmom? C'mon!)

These moments used to really hurt and get me down for days. Now, I've learned to expect them and even manage to laugh about them. Oh, the joys of being a "Step"!


  1. Laughed all the way through your list. Such great examples! My husband once called me his ex's name (right after getting off the phone with her) in front of his daughter. Talk about awkward :)

  2. Laughed with you on all of these. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Laughed with you on all of these scenarios. Thanks for sharing.